Talking and listening can make all the difference

World Suicide Prevention Day – 10 September

There are times in all our lives when things feel difficult. Sometimes life changes gradually and we find ourselves struggling more than we expected. At other times, illness, bereavement, pain, loss of independence, relationship difficulties or loneliness can change everything quite suddenly.

For some people, these difficulties can become overwhelming. They may begin to feel that there is no way forward, or that nobody could really understand what life is like for them.

This World Suicide Prevention Day, we want to talk about something that sits at the heart of what we do at Sage Counselling: the importance of being heard.

Sometimes, you just need someone to listen

When life becomes difficult, it can be surprisingly hard to tell someone how you really feel.

You might not want to worry your family. You might feel that other people have enough going on in their own lives. Perhaps you have been dealing with something for a long time and don't know where to begin explaining it.

Or perhaps, because you are spending more time at home, you simply don't have as many opportunities to talk to people as you once did.

Loneliness can be about being physically alone, but it can also be about feeling that nobody really sees what you are going through.

Talking doesn't necessarily make difficult circumstances disappear. It doesn't change an illness, bring someone back, or give us back the independence we may have lost.

But being able to talk about what is happening can make a difference.

There can be something powerful about sitting with another person who is genuinely listening. Someone who isn't judging you or rushing to offer an answer. Someone who is interested in your experience and wants to understand what life is like from your point of view.

Sometimes, being able to say things out loud can help us make sense of thoughts and feelings that have been difficult to put into words.

And sometimes, simply knowing that someone sees you, hears you and understands that things are difficult can make a difference.

We shouldn't be afraid to talk about suicide

Suicide can be an uncomfortable subject. We may worry that asking someone about suicidal thoughts will make things worse, or that we won't know what to say.

But avoiding difficult conversations doesn't make difficult feelings disappear.

Talking openly and compassionately can give someone an opportunity to say what they have been holding inside. If you are concerned about someone, it is okay to ask how they are really feeling and, when appropriate, whether they have been thinking about suicide.

You don't need to have all the answers. You don't need to solve the problem.

You can listen, take what they say seriously and help them find further support.

There are organisations such as Samaritans who are there specifically to listen to people who are struggling, and professional help is also available through health and mental health services.

Why this matters to Sage Counselling

At Sage Counselling, we work with adults who may find it difficult to access traditional counselling appointments.

Our counsellors visit people in their own homes, as well as working with people in care homes and hospitals. Many of the people we support are living with circumstances that can bring loneliness, isolation, anxiety, low mood, grief or a loss of confidence and independence.

For some, simply getting to an appointment can be a significant challenge.

That is why bringing counselling to someone can be so important.

Our counsellors are professionally trained and work within appropriate ethical and professional standards. They understand that every person's circumstances are different, and that there is no single answer to the challenges people face.

Counselling isn't about telling someone what to do or promising that everything will be alright.

It is about creating a safe and confidential space where someone can talk about what is happening in their life, explore difficult thoughts and feelings, and be listened to without judgement.

For someone who is feeling isolated or overwhelmed, having that regular connection with another person can be particularly important.

You don't have to wait until things become unbearable

We can all experience difficult periods in our lives. Sometimes we cope well. Sometimes we need a little more support.

Reaching out for help isn't a sign that you aren't coping. It can simply be a recognition that something is difficult and that you don't have to carry it entirely on your own.

If you are worried about someone else, don't be afraid to check in with them. A phone call, a visit, a cup of tea or simply asking “How are you really doing?” can open a door.

And if you are struggling yourself, talking to someone you trust can be a good place to start.

You deserve to be heard. Your experience matters. And you don't have to face difficult times alone.

If you need urgent help

Sage Counselling is not an emergency or crisis service. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E department.

If you are struggling or having thoughts of suicide, you can contact Samaritans free, 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, on 116 123. You can also contact your GP or NHS mental health services for support.

World Suicide Prevention Day is a reminder that suicide prevention isn't only about one day of the year. It is about continuing to notice one another, to ask how someone really is, and to make it easier for people to talk when life becomes difficult.

If you would like to speak to someone at Sage Counselling to ask about counselling at home contact us now.

Photo by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 on Unsplash